


Regrets and Mistakes (They're Memories Made)

by doctornineandthreequarters



Series: 9-1-1 Prompts and Drabbles [34]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fights, First Kiss, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28291299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters
Summary: Buck glanced at Eddie, who was watching the patient. Eddie was on the guy’s right side, ready to hold him down if need be. As Buck moved to a respectable distance away from Eddie, the guy stopped rocking. As the man glanced up at Eddie, a strange look passed over his face, before he reached into his pocket.Buck just saw a glint of metal before he sprung into action.---Or, a fight between Buck and Eddie seems moot when a call goes wrong.
Relationships: Eddie Diaz & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: 9-1-1 Prompts and Drabbles [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878523
Comments: 20
Kudos: 451





	Regrets and Mistakes (They're Memories Made)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Buck and Eddie are on the outs over something, not lawsuit related this time but maybe they have annoyed each other to the point of anger. On a call some patient goes nuts and brandishes a knife. The madman almost stabs Eddie but Buck gets in the way and ends up with the knife buried in him. As he lays there bleeding out, Buck tells Eddie how much he loves him and Chris and uses the last of his strength to kiss Eddie as hard as he can before everything goes dark. Eddie is beside himself.

The tension in the air of the firehouse was thicker than smoke. It had been like that since Eddie and Buck had had an argument so loud it had echoed through the whole building. Everyone knew about it, what with how loud they had shouted at each other. 

Their fight had been over a call, specifically Buck running back into a burning building, after Bobby had told them to exit, because Buck had been told that a family was still missing their four-year-old daughter. Luckily, Buck had made it out, with the little girl. And while Bobby had given Buck a stern lecture when they had gotten back from the call, nothing could equal the rage that Eddie had brought down on Buck when he had gotten a chance to speak with him. 

“You’re a reckless idiot!”

“Like you’re one to talk!”

They had eventually had to be separated, Chimney pulling Buck away while Bobby stood in front of Eddie, slightly worried that Eddie was going to hit something (Buck knew Bobby was less worried about Eddie hitting Buck and more worried about Eddie damaging city property). 

And then, they stopped talking to each other. 

It was clear they both needed space, so Bobby had made sure for the rest of the shift to pair them with other people. But the anger simmering between them was still there at the start of their next shift. And the shift after that. And the shift after that. They were now going on a week without talking, Eddie merely avoiding Buck’s gaze or shooting him dirty looks and Buck leaving the area any time Eddie appeared. And it sucked, not being able to talk to Eddie, but Buck didn’t think he was wrong. He had saved a little girl after all and that was a part of the job. But clearly, Eddie was too focused on Buck disregarding an order than the successful save. 

“You two have got to squash this,” Chimney said after Buck had walked away from the gym the minute Eddie stepped foot into it. 

“Hey, he got pissed at me,” Buck countered, grabbing his uniform to change back into it. “It’s not his job to get mad at me for disrespecting an order. Bobby had already reamed me out when Eddie decided to tear into me.”

“Buck.”

“Look, I know that I’m a little reckless,” Buck said and Chimney gave him a ‘duh’ look. “But I was doing my job. The same job he does that he also sometimes acts reckless in. So, I don’t get what his problem is.” Buck ducked away to change back into his uniform, hearing just a sigh from Chimney before he left the locker room. Buck very much didn’t understand where Eddie’s anger came from on this matter. Sure, he had been annoyed with Buck before over decisions he made on calls, but it had never been like this. And the worst part was that Buck couldn’t even talk to him about it, since Eddie was being stubborn and refusing to apologize. In fact, Buck couldn’t talk to Eddie about anything, which left this crippling loneliness dwelling deep inside of him.

Buck was brought out of his thoughts by the bell going off. He had to push aside this drama with Eddie to focus on his job. Luckily, this was just a medical call, so Buck only had to grab a few things before getting into the truck (purposefully choosing the front seat so he didn’t have to sit near Eddie, who Buck was sure was glaring holes into the back of his head). 

When they got to the scene, Buck hung back. On medical calls, Hen and Chimney took the lead, with Eddie assisting if necessary. Buck, Bobby and anyone else on the call were usually on crowd control or talking to whoever called 9-1-1. There were a few people ambling about, since the call was at a local park, but other than the caller and the patient, there was no need for crowd control.

“He just started going crazy.” The woman who called 9-1-1 was talking to Bobby. “I think he might be on something. He was ranting like crazy and his eyes were like super red.” The man in question was currently sitting on a park bench, mumbling to himself, while he rocked back and forth. 

“He’s definitely on something,” Hen said to Chimney. Buck noticed the guys’ arm was bleeding a little, like he had prodded himself a few too many times with whatever he had tried to shoot up. Hen looked at Eddie and then at Buck. “We might need you guys to hold onto him while we patch him up.” Buck just nodded, moving closer. Hen and Chimney went back to the ambulance, to grab some supplies. Buck glanced at Eddie, who was watching the patient. Eddie was on the guy’s right side, ready to hold him down if need be. As Buck moved to a respectable distance away from Eddie, the guy stopped rocking. As the man glanced up at Eddie, a strange look passed over his face, before he reached into his pocket. 

Buck just saw a glint of metal before he sprung into action. 

He tugged Eddie backwards, the brunette letting out a startled yelp as he did. Buck was about to explain when the patient grabbed Buck’s shoulder, letting out an almost primal yell. Buck didn’t have time to react, as the man quickly jammed something into his side. Buck let out a strangled yell as the knife went into his side several times in rapid succession. Someone pulled the patient away and Buck felt the ground coming towards him too quickly. Before his entire body could crumple to the ground he felt strong arms around him. 

“I got you.” A pained groan escaped Buck’s lips as he felt Eddie lower him to the ground. 

“Eddie.” Buck felt like the world was spinning as pain radiated from his side. He reached out, trying to find Eddie. 

“You’re going to be alright,” Eddie assured him, moving into Buck’s vision. Even through the dizziness, he could make out the concern on Eddie’s face. He felt his chest tighten, realizing the pain was dragging him back to the night of the truck bombing. He remembered how terrified he was, lying there on the street, barely able to feel his ankle, and terrified he was going to die there. He remembered the regrets he had, worried there was so much left unsaid. And after a week of not talking to Eddie, he wasn’t going to feel that way again. 

“Eddie,” Buck gasped out, grabbing for Eddie’s arm. He could feel Eddie pressing something into his side, trying to control the bleeding.

“You’re going to be okay, Buck,” Eddie said, a frailty in his voice that Buck had never heard. “I need some help over here!” Buck wasn’t sure what was going on with the others, why Eddie was the only one with him, but Buck didn’t care.

“Eddie, I’m sorry,” Buck gasped out. “I’m sorry for being stupid and reckless. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”

“Buck stop it,” Eddie said as Buck tightened his hold on Eddie’s arm. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Eddie please,” Buck begged, his vision growing cloudy, which he wasn’t sure if that was from the pain or the tears in his eyes. “I…”

“Buck,” Eddie said, his voice shaking. “Please don’t do this.” But Buck had to. He had to get this out. He wasn’t going to have regrets this time. 

“I love you,” Buck gasped out. He heard Eddie made a noise and his vision was too blurry for him to know if Eddie was crying or not. “I should’ve said something sooner, but I love you. You and Chris...you’re my everything.”

“Buck.” Eddie sounded as wrecked as Buck felt. Buck moved his hand from Eddie’s arm to his chest, gripping onto his shirt. Then, with the last of his strength, he tugged Eddie towards him, kissing him so hard their teeth clashed together. Buck let out a sob thinking this would be the only chance he would get to kiss Eddie, but even then it was enough for him. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck gasped out. “I’m so sorry.” His vision was closing in, more darkness and light. He could just make out Eddie’s face as the darkness swam towards him. 

“Buck! Buck!”

And then, everything went dark.

* * *

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie looked up, seeing Hen standing in front of him. He had been waiting at the hospital since they brought Buck in. Of course, he hadn’t wanted to be separated from Buck, especially once Buck confessed that he was in love with him. But Bobby had pulled him away, kicking and screaming, saying that Eddie had to let Hen and Chimney work. 

And so all Eddie could do was panic and mull over Buck’s words.

“Which part?” Eddie asked, glancing down at his hands. He had stood at a sink, barely able to see straight from the tears as he had tried to scrub Buck’s blood off his hands. And he still felt like it was there, like the blood had snuck into his own veins, just like Buck had snuck into his heart. “The part where my best friend was bleeding out in front of me? Or the part where he used the last of his strength to confess that he was in love with me?”

“Both,” Hen said, sitting down next to him. Eddie let out a breath and shook his head.

“I was so mad at him for running back in for that kid,” Eddie said. “I told him he was reckless. But today, when he was just standing there, that’s when he almost died.”

“Makes your argument and then silence seems moot,” Hen pointed out and Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, letting his head fall against the wall behind him. “And the other thing?”

“I can’t even think about that right now,” Eddie said, sniffing. 

“Well we’ve got nothing but time,” Hen pointed out as Eddie looked over at her. “He’s still in surgery.” Eddie sighed.

“I think we’ve always been dancing around something for awhile,” Eddie said. “I just think we were both avoiding saying what it was.” Hen just nodded. “I mean, I know what we look like. Every time he comes over for movie night and we’re sitting on the couch with Christopher...I know what that looks like.”

“So then why haven’t you done anything about it?” Hen asked. Eddie sniffed again and shrugged. “Eddie, come on.”

“I can lose him, Hen.” Hen went to say something and Eddie shook his head. “If I say something...if I change everything between us, I could lose him like I lost Shannon. And I can’t put myself or Christopher through that again.”

“When he was lying there today,” Hen said, her voice gentle. “When you were screaming for help...Buck wasn’t thinking about living with regrets. So, I think you need to decide if the possibility of losing him outweighs the possibility of living with regrets.” Eddie was about to say something when a doctor approached Maddie. He felt some tension release as Maddie cried out in relief and Chimney hugged her tightly while thanking the doctor. He just looked at Hen who patted his arm with a small smile. She got up and went over to Chimney and Maddie, leaving Eddie alone, which was okay with him. 

He had a lot to think about anyways. 

* * *

Buck huffed as he tossed the book he was attempting to read away. He couldn’t focus on it. He couldn’t focus on anything really. 

All he could think about was Eddie. Well, rather that Eddie had yet to come see him. 

Buck had been awake for a day, having woken up a few hours after surgery, finding Maddie sitting by his bedside. After the doctor had checked on him and gone over recovery time, everyone else had steadily come by for visits. Chimney was the first, bringing Maddie food and telling Buck he was glad he was okay. Bobby and Athena had come afterwards, sitting with him while Chimney had ushered Maddie out of the room, saying she could sleep in her own bed now that Buck was awake. Hen had come by a little after that, bringing Buck edible food and a few books to read. But Eddie had yet to visit. 

And that had Buck panicking a little. 

He remembered everything he had said to Eddie at the park. At the time, he had thought it was his only chance to get things off his chest, since after the truck bombing he had sworn to never leave things unsaid. But now he was worried that he had overstepped, that he had scared off his best friend. After all, he didn’t know how Eddie felt. Sure, he hoped that Eddie reciprocated his feelings, but he didn’t know for sure. And Eddie not coming to visit certainly didn’t help matters. 

“What did that book do to you?” Buck’s head snapped up towards the door, recognizing the voice instantly. Eddie was standing there, an uneasy look on his face. 

“Didn’t catch my interest,” Buck said. “Hen said she got it because she thought I’d be interested in it, but I think she just grabbed it from the gift shop.” Eddie just nodded as he walked further into the room. “I was, uh, starting to doubt if you were going to visit at all.”

“Sorry about that,” Eddie said, looking down at his shoes. “I just had a lot on my mind.” Buck nodded, a sense of worry settling in him. The hesitancy in Eddie’s actions, him taking so long to visit, all of it had Buck worried.

“Eddie.” Buck was just going to let him off the hook. He was going to tell Eddie to forget and just let them go back to being best friends. He could push these feelings down. He had been, after all, doing that for awhile now. 

“I love you too.” Buck felt his breath catch in his throat as Eddie spoke. Eddie looked up at him and Buck just watched him, not believing this was really happening. “I...I needed time because I needed to figure my own feelings out. But I do, I love you Buck. I have for a while now, but I was just too scared to say anything. I was scared that if we crossed that line I would eventually lose you. But then I almost lost you anyways and I couldn’t live with the regret of not being honest with my feelings. So I love you Buck, so much.”

“Is this really happening?” Buck asked, tears that had started forming as Eddie spoke cascading down his cheeks. Eddie crossed to him, sitting down on the hospital. “Is this real?”

“Yes,” Eddie said, reaching up to wipe the tears away. 

“I just,” Buck said, sniffling a little. “When you didn’t visit, I thought I had ruined everything. I thought…” He didn’t get to finish the statement, Eddie cutting him off with a kiss. Buck grabbed for his arm, something to anchor him in the moment to remind him that this was really happening.

“This is real and so are my feelings,” Eddie said when he pulled away. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Buck managed to get out between the tears. Eddie smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to Buck’s lips before pulling away, just to wipe the tears off his cheeks.

“How much longer are you stuck here?” Eddie asked, his thumb gently caressing Buck’s cheek. But just watched him, a small smile on his face. 

“At least another day,” Buck said. Eddie just nodded before getting up. Buck watched him curiously as he rounded the bed to Buck’s other side. “What are you doing?”

“Keeping you company,” Eddie said. Buck could only watch him with a soft smile as Eddie moved so he was sitting right next to Buck. “I mean, clearly that book was doing the trick.” As soon as Eddie had settled down next to him, Buck let his head rest on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie smiled, interlacing his hand with Buck’s. Buck watched him, blushing a little as Eddie’s thumb caressed Buck’s hand. 

“Eds?” Eddie looked away from Buck’s hand and Buck felt his heart pound a little harder at the look in Eddie’s eyes. “We’re okay, right?” Eddie smiled and leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to Buck’s lips. 

“More than okay,” Eddie assured him. And seeing the look in his eyes, Buck knew Eddie was telling the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> [Scream with me on my Tumblr?](https://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com)


End file.
